


The Way You Say My Name

by sadtunes



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Daisy Johnson is Not Okay, Gen, One Shot, Short One Shot, Skye | Daisy Johnson Feels, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, Skye | Daisy Johnson-centric, St. Agnes Orphanage, but she will be, daisy johnson character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26183269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadtunes/pseuds/sadtunes
Summary: Skye meets them in her twenties.It's Coulson and May and Ward and Fitz and Jemma.It's Robbie and Lincoln and Hunter and Bobbie.It's trained agents and scientists and these people who are just so much better than she is.It's a group of people that become a team that become a family.It's her family and for the first time in her entire life, Skye knows without a doubt, that she is loved.
Relationships: Miles Lydon & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson & Agents of SHIELD Team
Comments: 14
Kudos: 59





	The Way You Say My Name

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: PAST SEXUAL ABUSE  
> There will be mentions of past sexual abuse in this chapter. It will not be completely detailed, but it is still a little graphic, so if this could trigger you please don't read it. Your mental health is important. (:
> 
> Just a lil backstory here....
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Daisy Johnson was six years old the first time she learned that emotional pain hurt so much worse than physical.

She had been six months into her eighth foster home when they called her into the living room. Mrs. Barkley's eyes were glistening with unshed tears and Mr. Barkley kept clearing his throat every couple of seconds as if preparing to say something but repeatedly losing his gall.

"Mary," He had said, her name cradled between his lips like it might be the last time he said it. Daisy hadn't known that wasn't her real name at the time, and she found that she loved the way it sounded coming from him, from someone who loved her.

He told her that she had to go back to St. Agnes, said that they weren't able to keep her. His wife tried to smile encouragingly at her when she walked out the door, but Mary was six, and not blind, so the way Mrs. Barkley gripped onto Mr. Barkely like a lifeline did not go unnoticed.

It wasn't the first, nor the last time that she was sent back, but it was the first time it _hurt_. It hurt more than anything six year old Mary Sue Potts had ever experienced, and that was when it hit her.

When she got back to the orphanage, Mother Superior hissed at her, blamed her being returned (that's what she called it, _returned,_ as if Daisy was an object. A _thi_ ng to be passed around, and one day inevitably lost) as another consequence of Mary's misbehavior, and shoved her into a confessional.

She didn't understand why she kept being sent back. Mother Superior said it was because Mary was a bad kid, mischievous and troublesome. She didn't think she was bad, she was a normal kid who whined about eating vegetables, and asked for _one more story_ before bedtime. Who accidentally dropped glasses and sobbed dramatically when she cut herself while attempting to hurriedly clean it up.

But apparently, those were only 'Mary' things so she figured the reason she kept being sent back was her own fault and the Barkleys simply didn't want to deal with a sobbing kid, so they only pretended to be sad about her departure.

And it didn't really matter if that was true or not did it? Because little Mary believed it and belief is far more powerful than reality.

  
  


____________

Daisy is nine the first time she learns to stop caring.

Mister and Missus (Daisy doesnt remember their real names, and she tries really hard not to.) were nice and trustworthy and they were the first ones to really love her again since the Barkelys. They gave her stuffed animals and cute pyjamas. They brought her coloring books and tons of new things to read. They said her name like she was the prettiest thing in the world, like she was _theirs_ , and at the time, she was really happy that she was.

And then they started buying different kinds of toys and cute underwear. They colored bruises on her thighs and she started reading the words on the back wall to distract herself.

Miss would tie Mary Sue to the headboard along with a barbed coil around her heart. Mister would break through her innocence and with it the wall of comfort they built into her themselves.

And so Mary learned to stop caring because the worst kind of pain was the one you weren’t expecting. The worst kind of pain was trusting someone to have your back and then finding yourself with a knife in your spine and coughing up blood.

(Except the knife was still cutting off the straps of her clothes and the blood was definitely not coming from her mouth.)

She didn't like the way they said her name anymore.

___________

Daisy was twelve when she changed her name to Skye.

It wasn't anything special. There was no spark of revelation and she didn't have some type of sentimental reason for choosing it.

The name Mary Sue Potts was just getting far too embarrassing and she remembered the name Skye from a book she once read. The nuns tried to keep calling her Mary but she ceased to respond- a defiance that led to many, _many,_ days in The Box- and eventually they only referred to her as _'girl'._

She honestly couldn't care less about any punishment they bestowed on her (Nothing could be worse than Mister and Missus and so far- thankfully- nothing was.) Because her name was _hers_ and it was one of the only things she's ever had for herself, one of the only things she's ever _chosen_ for herself; and Skye would be damned if she let anyone take it from her.

____________

Daisy was sixteen when she ran away from the orphanage. She left a note to Sister McKenna, the only nun who mattered, the only nun that called her by the right name, and fled when it was her day to get a trip to the library.

  
  


She packed a bag and said it was full of some books she had forgotten to return last time. Luckily- Sister Mckenna was in charge of checking their stuff and only gave Skye a hard look before moving on. So she went to the library and used the computers to completely erase herself from the internet. For at least a year, Skye had been sneaking out at night to teach herself computer science; and she would have snuck out again, but she wanted to be long gone by the time they realised she was missing. Not to say that they would really try that hard to look, but the authorities would be alerted and the first place they look is the area where you were last seen. 

After erasing any proof of her existence, Skye still had about three hours left at the library before they came to get her, so she decided to hack into the system and make sure that none of the bad families she had before could ever foster again. And for the ones who-shall-not-be-named, well, a few too many fake DUI’s made sure they would be in jail for at least a while, even if they deserve much worse.

Then, with two hours to spare, Skye snuck out through the bathroom window, and got on the next bus away.

____________

She meets Miles because he was impressed by her hacking. Said that she was good, but he could still trace her location, so apparently not good enough. She’s eighteen now, and he’s maybe a couple years older, yet he takes her under his wing, gives her a purpose with the Rising Tide and suddenly the name Skye isn’t so empty anymore. Finally Skye _means_ something.

She learns to be a better hacker than all of them, and soon she’s their most valued member. She’s not entirely sure she’s loyal to them, but she’s loyal to Miles, and that means something. She gets placed on an undercover on an assignment a few years later, like she’s some kind of spy, and soon enough, she kind of is.

__________

Skye meets them in her twenties.

It's Coulson and May and Ward and Fitz and Jemma.

It's Robbie and Lincoln and Hunter and Bobbie.

It's trained agents and scientists and these people who are just so much better than she is. 

It's a group of people that become a team that become a family.

It's her family and for the first time in her entire life, Skye knows without a doubt, that she is loved.

___________

When Skye changes her name to Daisy, it isn't for the parents that tried to kill her. Not for Cal, a man driven insane by his own love. It isn't for Jiaying, a mother who had long since forgotten how to love a daughter; a woman who was too blinded by the cruelty of the world, to see the light alongside it.

It's for the people who they used to be.

The parents that held her in their hands, cradled her in their arms like a gift more precious than any materialistic thing in the world. The parents that stood over her crib, cooing and praising her like their most prized treasure. The parents that would be leaden with exhaustion every night, and yet every night they came at the tiniest sound of her distress.

She changes her name to Daisy, because that is the name those parents gave her, and she doesn't want their entire legacy to disappear within her.

And now she has these people, these _Agents of SHIELD_ . These friends, this _family_ that has stuck by her through everything, who have cried and laughed and loved with her, and she thinks maybe it's a little for them too. 

Because Daisy Johnson is the person who she is now, and every part of her is a part of them too.

  
  


They are scattered around in the kitchen, it's 2 am and they're all nursing a drink, conversing quietly and laughing at each other's antics. Daisy smiles, a delicate, tentative thing, and she catches Coulson's eye. He doesn't stop talking to May, but he smiles back at her, lightly raises his glass, and winks. And she knows he understands.

And she knows that she is happy.

**Author's Note:**

> 1586 words.
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